blaise pascal

not many people have heard of the guy blaise pascal.  he's a mathematician turned theologian who stated "there is a God shaped vacuum in the heart of every man which cannot be filled by any created thing, but only by God, the Creator, made known through Jesus."

here's the thing: we have some friends who named their son blaise after this guy.  the little guy we're adopting's name is pascal!  i remember telling my girlfriend about our loss of anna on our porch and explaining we were getting their little cousin, pascal.  she whipered with tears in her eyes, "he's the other half to our blaiser!!"  it was a sweet moment of yet another kiss from God!  this is part of a greater plan!

the story of our little pascal has really hit this family hard.  little blaise suffers from juvenile rheumatoid arthritis.  he lives in constant pain, sometimes so severe he can't even walk.  he is getting inundated with drugs to try to subside his pain and improve his bodies' function, which seems to fail with each new dosage attempt.  there are continual unknowns which includes more pieces of their heart breaking as they watch their sweet boy endure.  they love Jesus, have devoted their life to him and work diligently in ministry.  they are being rocked to their core over the suffering their little son is going through, and can only trust in Jesus each step of the way. 

a highlight is that this little guy recently asked Jesus into his heart in their yard with their mama!  that Jesus guy is starting to pour out of his heart (funny how He does that)!  he knows the whole story of our loss of anna and how that made room for us to get pascal.  he's aware of the ridiculousness of someone dying over such a preventable disease.  as a result, he asked for mosquito nets for his birthday instead of gifts.  there's not a whole lot of 5 year olds that can so honorably deal with such pain and still give away the highlight of his year: birthday gifts.  i'm not even sure how many nets he received, but the fact that the loss of our little anna would have such an impact on a freshly turned 5 year old is beyond me! 

i have no doubt this blaiser and our pascal will be great buds!  God is knitting their hearts together half a world away! 

thanks blaise for being such a strong, sweet and Jesus loving little guy!  we so appreciate your support of our family and utilizing what your knowledge to make a difference! 

you, too, can make a donation to provide mosquitoe nets here!  let's help put an end to stories like anna's. 

angels?? maybe...

there's one story i want to share about the loss of anna that i didn't share before.  after i had gone out of the sanctuary and was sitting outside, apparently the session had been released.  one of my girls went to search for her mom in an effort to use mom's leverage with our airline to get me on a flight back home as soon as possible (thank you for whoever paid for my change fee).  amidst all of these people, she was able to find her mom almost immediately (which hadn't happened all weekend, despite their efforts).  she was crying, explaining to her mom what had happened.  a woman was apparently observing them and walked up and said she felt the Spirit telling her to ask if she could pray for them.  my girlfriend explained what had happened to the gal, then girlfriend and mom couldn't believe their ears.  the woman had been through almost the exact same thing.   two weeks before she was preparing to travel to pick their twins up, she lost one.  she wanted to talk to me.

they brought her over to me, and i could be imagining it, but i'm pretty sure she was glowing.  they explained what had happened, and i just hugged this poor woman so tight i think i almost choked her.  we cried together and shared some sweat and a few words.  it was the biggest gift God could have given to me.  i knew then and there that this was of a greater plan, for His glory, which gave me peace that surpassed understanding.  there is no way out of 2,000+ people that this woman "coincidentally" walked up to my girlfriend.  i am no mathematician, but the odds of a woman having gone through the same thing, being there at that conference, being on that patio at that time and being willing to walk up to two upset woman are pretty slim.  just think of the odds of adoptive twins alone...really? 

this is one of the things that i still hold on to through the challenges of grieving the loss of a daughter that was bound to my heart, who's face i've seen in pictures but never got to touch.  it's such a unique and odd loss.  the feelings are unexplainable.  the past few months have been challenging, painful and growth inducing.  i have questioned God in a way that i have never before, and i have trusted Him and seen Him in a way i never have before.  my absence of posts has been about a time of removing distractions and focusing on Him.  He has showed up in my life in a way that i never knew he could (he keeps doing that)!  just when i think i've seen the best of Him and been the closest to him, he ups the ante.  one thing i know, i want more of Him, and am surrendered in a whole new way (again)! 

angels??  i'm not sure the bible would support that notion, but i do know it was fellow servant who was obedient to the Spirit's leading. 

here's her organizations website, this proves she's real...right?! ;)

finally!!

we are officially the parents of two more little peeps!!  we heard from our agency (late) tonight that the judge has signed our paperwork for both of the kids!  praising God for his provision and grace!!!  more details to come soon!